People think I’m strong.

The kind of strong that can handle anything.
The kind that keeps going no matter what.
The kind that doesn’t break.

But here’s the truth…

I’m not that person.

I’m just a normal woman trying to hold it together and survive.

And I think I’ve known that for a long time…
I just didn’t want to admit it.

Or maybe I didn’t feel like I was allowed to.

Somewhere along the way, I became this version of myself that people expected.
The strong one.
The one who could carry it all.

And I tried to live up to that image.

But trying to be someone you’re not?

It costs you.

It cost me everything… and then some.

Emotionally.
Mentally.
In relationships.
In energy.

I lost a lot.

But I also gained something I didn’t have before…

Self-respect.

And that changes everything.

Right now?

I’m not some polished, put-together version of anything.

I’m a 52-year-old woman trying to figure out where I belong in this world.
Trying to rebuild.
Trying to survive.
Working my butt off behind the scenes most days just to keep going.

Nothing about it is perfect.

It’s messy.
It’s uncomfortable.
And some days… it hurts more than I’d like to admit.

But it’s real.

And maybe for the first time in a long time…

It’s actually me.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy though.

Because if I’m being honest, the scariest part of all of this is simple:

What if people don’t like the real me?

That thought still creeps in.

It always has.

But I’m starting to understand something…

Not everyone is meant to.

And that’s okay.

One of the hardest things I’ve done recently was set a boundary with someone I love deeply.

I had to block them.

Not because I don’t care…
But because I finally started caring about myself too.

That’s the kind of strength people don’t talk about.

Not pushing through everything.

But knowing when to stop.

Knowing when enough is enough.

Knowing when you deserve better… even if you’re still learning to fully believe it.

So if you’re reading this and feeling lost…

Here’s what I’ll tell you:

Write it out.

Make your pros and cons list about the person or situation that’s weighing you down.
Be honest. No tipping the scale. No leaving things out.

Journal.
Pray.
Talk to someone you trust.

You don’t have to have it all figured out today.

You just have to start being honest with yourself.

That’s where everything begins.

---

And if this post spoke to you, feel free to share it with someone who might need this reminder too.

Thank you for being here, for reading, and for being part of this space.

We’re moving through April, one day at a time.

— Shelly 💛