When you hear the word mindset, what do you think of?

For me, mindset is simply the way we think. It’s the way our brain has been shaped over time by everything we’ve lived through. Our experiences, our trauma, the people around us, the good moments and the painful ones… all of it slowly builds the way we see the world.

Some of those thought patterns help us move forward. Others can hold us back. And sometimes the real work in life is learning how to undo the negative patterns and slowly retrain our brain to think differently.

That kind of shift doesn’t happen overnight.

Over the past few years my mindset has definitely been tested in ways I never expected. Grief and trauma have a way of shaking everything. They can make it harder to believe in yourself and harder to believe things will ever feel okay again.

I’ll be honest. I still struggle with having a positive mindset some days. Believing in myself doesn’t always come easily. But I remind myself that I’m a work in progress, just like so many of you reading this.

When I start feeling overwhelmed, I lean on the small things that help bring me back. Sometimes I look at Nicole’s picture. Sometimes I read the mantras on the wall in front of me. Sometimes I just take a moment to breathe and remind myself that I will get through this.

Those little reminders help pull my thoughts back when they start drifting somewhere darker.

Grief has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to face. Before experiencing it, I thought depression was the hardest thing someone could go through. But grief adds another layer that’s hard to explain unless you’ve lived it.

It’s not something you simply snap out of. It’s not something you just “get over.”

For me, it meant learning new coping tools and slowly rebuilding my mindset one step at a time. Super Patch’s Joy and Peace patches have been a huge help for me, along with counseling, journaling, and doing the internal work needed to get to where I am now.

It’s still a journey.

But every step forward matters.

On the days when my mindset starts slipping, I go back to the habits that help ground me. Reading my mantras. Looking at Nicole’s picture. Talking to my counselor. Writing in my journal. Sometimes I cook or bake because being in the kitchen helps calm my mind and bring me back to the present moment.

Starting this blog has also been part of that mindset shift. I didn’t really have a plan when I began. One night I just sat down and started writing.

What I didn’t expect was how freeing it would feel.

Sharing my thoughts and experiences has helped me reflect on things in a new way. It has helped me see how far I’ve come, even when I still have a long road ahead.

Something I’ve noticed about our minds is that we tend to believe our negative thoughts very quickly. When our brain tells us something negative, we accept it right away.

But when our thoughts try to tell us something positive, we doubt them.

Why is that?

That might be something we explore in another blog someday.

If you ever feel stuck in negative thinking, try something simple. Every morning write down three to five things you’re thankful for. They don’t have to be big things. Maybe you woke up. Maybe the sun is shining. Maybe you had a really good cup of coffee.

Write them down every day for a couple of weeks and then look back at the list. You might be surprised how much your mindset starts to shift just from noticing the good things around you.

Community also plays a huge role in mindset. Having people around you who support you, encourage you, and walk beside you through the hard moments makes a big difference. Support reminds us that we don’t have to carry everything alone.

For me, the moment I truly realized how powerful mindset could be came after Nicole’s passing. That was something I never thought I would survive.

And yet here I am today, sitting here writing this blog.

Mindset isn’t about pretending everything is perfect.

It’s about changing how you think… one thought at a time.

And sometimes that quiet shift in thinking becomes the superpower that helps you keep moving forward.