Good Morning my friend! ☕💜

Yesterday I spent the day with a good friend and when I got home last night, I found myself sitting here thinking.

Not about anything huge.

Not some big life lesson.

Just thinking about how different things feel right now compared to a few months ago.

For the longest time it felt like I was just trying to survive each day.

Wake up.

Get through the day.

Go to bed.

Repeat.

And somewhere along the way, without really noticing it, the little things stopped mattering.

Not because they weren’t there.

I just didn’t see them.

But lately I’ve been noticing them again.

This morning I was sitting on my balcony with my coffee watching the sun come up. Now I only get the sun on my balcony for a short time in the morning, but lately I’ve been making a point to get out there for even five or ten minutes.

And you know what?

It feels good.

Really good.

A few months ago I probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

Now I find myself looking forward to those quiet moments.

The same thing has been happening with music.

I’ve noticed I’m turning it on earlier every day.

Sometimes I’m singing along.

Usually off key.

Thankfully Sir Kit Kat hasn’t filed a formal complaint yet. 😂

Actually, if we’re being honest, he sleeps through most of it.

That cat sleeps through everything.

I think he may be the laziest employee I’ve ever hired.

His performance review is not looking good.

Although somehow he keeps getting Employee of the Month.

Funny how that works.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized it isn’t really about coffee, sunshine, music, or even spending time with friends.

It’s about caring again.

That might sound strange, but it’s true.

I’m caring about things again.

I’m planning things.

I’m creating recipes.

I’m organizing freezers.

And yes, before you laugh, cleaning out my deep freeze actually made me feel accomplished.

A few days ago I emptied the whole thing.

Everything.

And as I stood there looking at food spread everywhere, I remember thinking, “What in the world have I gotten myself into?”

By the time I was done my back was angry, my sciatica was angry, and I was questioning all my life choices.

But when it was finished?

I felt good.

Not because my freezer was organized.

Because I had finally done something I’d been putting off.

Sometimes the victory isn’t the freezer.

Sometimes the victory is simply showing up and doing the thing.

I think that’s what healing has been teaching me lately.

People talk about healing like it’s some giant breakthrough.

Like one day you wake up and everything feels better.

For me it hasn’t worked that way.

For me it’s been little things.

A coffee on the balcony.

A good conversation.

A clean kitchen.

A song on the radio.

A friend who makes you laugh.

A cat sleeping on the job.

Tiny little pieces of life that didn’t seem important before.

But somehow mean everything now.

Grief changed me.

There’s no way around that.

I know I’m not the same person I used to be.

But maybe that’s okay.

Because I’m starting to like this version of me too.

The version that protects her peace.

The version that’s learning patience.

The version that’s figuring things out one day at a time.

The version that’s discovering she’s actually pretty good company.

And maybe that’s why the little things matter again.

Because for the first time in a long time, life doesn’t feel quite so heavy.

Not perfect.

Not easy.

Just a little lighter.

And right now, that’s enough. 💜

Until next time,

Shelly Rand

💛

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And if this post spoke to you, feel free to share it with someone who might need this reminder too.

Thank you for being here, for reading, and for being part of this space.

We’re figuring this out one day at a time… together.

— Shelly 💛